This is what I had to do today. I am just not feeling it. I did complete Aerobic Body Shaping, but I had to pause half way into it. Once I knew I was not going to face plant myself, I got up and finished it. I still have to go out and shovel the driveway before heading into work. I am really lacking motivation today. I’m feeling overwhelmed and I have no idea why. None. I will have to contemplate this as I shovel the drive.
After downing four Benadryl last night, I was able to fall asleep sooner. Still had to get up numerous times throughout the night to pee or let the dogs out, though. According to my Fitbit, I slept seven hours! It says I was awake four times and restless 19 times. Now, if I could only sleep the whole night through!
I know I’m feeling inadequate with regard to my work. We have one guy on our team who has already earned like four certifications within a few months time. Three of those were within two months of each other. I’m struggling just to earn one.
I work as an Information Technology Service Desk Specialist. I thought when I earned my degree this would be the field I really wanted to be in. I am discovering I am not fascinated by the technology side as much as I am about helping people.
Many people in the IT field are introverts. They are not people-persons. They are more about the technology and what makes things tick. I am finding myself liking that side less and less. The problem is, I have no idea what the hell I want to do.
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my job. I love working with almost all the people I work with. I am thankful I am not in a member-facing position because I would definitely be out of a job. Our Member Service Advisers are awesome. I know I would not do well with someone telling me off because of something stupid they had done. I do not do well with people who come at me with attitudes, period. If someone does, they get attitude right back. Just because you may be having a shitty day does not mean that I am to take your bullshit. How do you know I am not having a shitty day?! This is why when I worked Retail they pretty much kept me off the floor and away from customers! Ha
Anyway, I digress. At work, we are all supposed to earn our certifications. The company is paying for them which is awesome. I really am struggling to find motivation to complete it. I know I need to do it. I know it has to happen within the next eight weeks. The more I think about it, the more freaked out I get.
I do not test well. I freeze. Any knowledge I may have up in my brain-housing group flies out the damn window the moment I have to take an exam! It happened every time I took a final while in college. Test Anxiety is no joke.
Well, it’s time to shovel the drive . . . Again.