Almost Three Years Later and It Still Bothers Me – Part 6

The Most Memorable

In Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3, I shared the interaction between Mr I-Do-Not-Have-Children-To-Pass-My-Legacy-On-To and Baby Number 3.  In Part 4, I let him have it with everything I had.  In Part 5, I shared his response and my final one to him.  Here are the last exchanges between Mr I-Do-Not-Have-Children-To-Pass-My-Legacy-On-To and Baby Number 3.

I would like to just point out in the prior reply with everyone around you knowing the ‘full story’; repeating the point, they don’t. They know yours and only yours because they don’t want to listen to the other side. To this, I’m referring to your side of the ‘family’ (I can’t really claim them as my family, now can I?). You’ve essentially painted me, the child, as the bad guy to them. That’s similar to the ancient Romans and Japanese’ version of disowning. How can I presume this? Because there was no contact to me from any of them at any point after I returned. Quite honestly, that’s the only real part that hurts me and even that is miniscule. As I’ve told people, the only problem I had with your side of the family was you. I had no problems with any of my cousins or grandparents because they were actually casual and genuinely tried to get to know me (at least to the best of my ability). Now, I could entirely be wrong on this assumption, but odds are with the closeness of your side of the family I’m not.

Of course, this did not sit well with Mr I-Do-Not-Have-Children-To-Pass-My-Legacy-On-To.  Here is the final (at least to the best of my knowledge) response from him:

I just explained this to your mother and it will never sound right to anyone but me.

The original email in my brain was actually a simple attempt to provide some level of information that I was not even sure you had or knew about.  It went south from there, but when it was originally sent it was really the only thing I could think of to show you that regardless of your opinions of us we always knew you were out there.

Some things are best left unsaid, and in my brain I was trying to provide information that I thought would be useful and possibly interesting to you.  Nobody will understand my line of thinking at the original time except me.  I thought the information was interesting and as something you may have wanted to know.  It turned widely south from there.

I was royally pissed about the entire exchange.  Truth be told, I still very much am.  The one thing I have come to realize over time is I wound up with the winning hand.  I was the one who got to watch him grow and learn.  I was there for every major event in Baby Number 3’s life.  Mr I-Do-Not-Have-Children-To-Pass-My-Legacy-On-To will regret this whole episode one day.  I hope I am around on that day . . .

Bottom line is even after three years, this ugliness still bothers me.

A Parent's Unconditional



8 thoughts on “Almost Three Years Later and It Still Bothers Me – Part 6

  1. Hi Patti ~ Just wanted to let you know that I deleted my blog. I feel too overwhelmed and that I need to concentrate on my own life right now. If I don’t delete it, I will keep trying…. I am on facebook where I will still post the same kind of stuff. I really like taking pictures so I will be doing that, too. Anyways, if you want, no pressure, my Facebook is Candice-Marie Healthynotnuts. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Man… I just read through parts 1-6 despite it being well past my bedtime. After the first one I had to see where it went and if stuff was resolved. Unfortunately, my own experiences and other stories like yours have taught me that resolution isn’t often an option. Acceptance and moving on are possible, but no matter how many years pass things like this will always hurt or make you angry. I liked reading your story though, and am impressed with baby number 3’s responses!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for staying up and reading! I know it was a lot. (I tend to be very long winded! LOL)

      Yes, Baby Number 3 can definitely hold his own! In the end, it is Baby Number 3 who paid the ultimate price for his parents’ selfishness. However, he will be 21 in a couple of weeks and despite all that has transpired, he has turned out to be an amazing man. I am wicked proud of him!

      ❤ ❤


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