So today, Thursday, 2 June 2016, is actually Day 144 of my New Beginning. However, because I am going to do a 30 Day Blog Challenge, this is Day 2. On Day 2, I am to “Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.” So here goes.
- ELECTRICITY: One day, as a child of 8, I was doing dishes. My father was in the garage installing a huge air compressor. He grounded the house. At that same moment, my hands were in the dishwater. I was thrown backwards. When I got up, I was shaking so badly I couldn’t speak. My mom and grandmother were in the house with me. They were trying to figure out what happened because I was trying not to cry and shaking uncontrollably. I dared not to cry. It was one thing you did not do around my father. He was in a foul mood and grounding the house made it worse. He went ape shit when he learned what had happened to me. I was almost 17 years old before I ever plugged in an appliance!. To this very day, if a wire/cord or an outlet looks questionable, I have someone else deal with it.
I am so terrified of electricity that I even made my children plug stuff in for me! Terrible parenting, I know. Thankfully, they have never been zapped or suffered ill-effects from my fear!
- ABANDONMENT: Even after all these year, I am still afraid of being abandoned. I fear being abandoned by my husband and children. This stems from my father abandoning me when I was 12.
- FAILURE: I know, in order to learn and grow, a person must experience failure. In my mind, though, failure equates to not being good enough. It equates to being a disappointment to my children, husband, family and friends. Irrational as those thought processes are, it is how my mind thinks.
And with that, I shall leave on this note: