Day 150 – And Everything Returns To Normal

When Your Houseguests

OK . . . So Number One Son is not really a house guest.  He is, however, an extra bod, y in the house.  He left this morning.  He is headed to the next chapter in his Marine Corps Career.  I miss him.  Hell, I miss all of my children.  BUT . . . I am happy they are all out on their own, as well.

I have spent the morning doing a little cleaning here and a little cleaning there.  I sat out on the deck and wrote out the next few days for my 30 Day Blog Challenge.  It is a gorgeous spring-heading-into-summer day.  The sun is shining.  The sky is a beautiful blue.  The grass is more brown than green.  The birds are singing.

My jaw is aching.  When I sit still, I can feel it throbbing and keeping time with my heart beat.  I know it has only been two days since the extraction.  I was kind of hoping it would have settled down by now. It is very uncomfortable.  I really hope it “settles down” soon.  I would much rather give birth to 10 pound babies than to have an aching jaw!

I go back to work today.  The nice thing is this is going to be a very short week for me.  I only have to work three days!  I love short weeks!

I just remembered I need to pick up a birthday card and a gift card for my stepson. His birthday was last week.  I would remember and then something would distract me.  Suffice it to say, I have not purchased either yet.

One of my resolutions for this year was to make sure I sent cards for the kids’ and parents’ birthdays.  I fallen behind.

Oh hell.  I just realized I failed to pick up a card and gift card for my son-in-law, too!  Am I becoming forgetful because I am now 50?!    I certainly hope not!

I have discovered the US Government has not changed.  If one owes them money, they want it immediately.  However, if they owe you, they take their sweet ass time in paying it out!  GRRRR

I have noticed my waist feels a little thicker now.  It is the price I pay for poor food choices and for being a slug for the month of May.  I am not pleased with myself.  I feel gross.  I feel like I am a bloated, beached grey whale . . . A bloated, beached grey whale which is about to explode.  Sunday cannot get here fast enough.

Why Sunday, you may be asking.  I am one of those types of people who has to start something on a specific day.  Since I am jumping back onto the wagon, it has to be on a Sunday as it is what I consider to be the start of my exercise week . . . Unless the hubby is home.  If he is home, I start on the day he leaves for the week.

I absolutely cannot workout if another person is in the house.  I have a hard enough time concentrating to follow along with the lead in the videos.  If there is a person in the house, I am constantly worrying if they are going to walk in and see me.  I am super self-conscious.  I really do not want anyone to see me floundering and flopping around like the beached grey whale.  I do not want anyone to see me as my fat rolls bounce up and down.  I do not want anyone to see the six pack on my back.  I do not want anyone to see the cottage cheese tree trunks that are posing as legs.

I wish I could be comfortable with my body as it is.  I am not.  I will not wear shorts.  I’m lucky if I even put on capris.  I do not wear skirts that come above my knees.  I prefer maxi dresses and maxi skirts.  I will not put on a swim suit.

Since I am not a sun worshipper (one who likes to lay out in the sun or go to a tanning bed), my skin does not look all leathery.  It has allowed me to be 50 and not really look 50.  (Or maybe it has to do with all the preservatives I have eaten over the years!)  For that, I am truly thankful.

One day, I will come to accept and love my body as it is.  Today is not that day.  I will continue to work toward my mini goals.  The mini goals will help me reach my ultimate goal . . . To be 100 pounds lighter and able to shop in “regular” clothes shops.

You Don't Have to Be

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